What Are You Willing to Learn and Unlearn? — Releasing Me Today

What Are You Willing to Learn and Unlearn?

by Deone

“It is better to learn late than never.”
~Publilius Syrus – First Century BC, Maxim 864

Reflect on this: What are you willing to teach yourself about yourself to realize your unlimited potential?

Oftentimes, what we believe we aren’t capable of doing is someone else’s beliefs about us that we have adopted as being true for ourselves.

If an individual is constantly being told they can’t do something, it’s likely they will start believing it themselves.

What have you been told about yourself, others, or about life (in general) that has now become a fear that you avoid?

Always be willing to let go of some lessons that no longer serve you.

unlearn

Allow me to share with you an experience of mine to illustrate my point.

As a student, I was never too fund of learning. It wasn’t that the work was too hard, or that I was too stupid to get the lesson being taught.

I simply didn’t have anyone around me who believed in me enough to encourage me to do any better.

Now, I’m certainly not pointing any blame towards them, because many of them hadn’t been taught to uncover their own potential.

And life has certainly instilled into me that we can only do better than we know to do.

I would be the only one of my mother’s three sons to acquire my high school diploma.

However, it was only by God’s grace, both of my grandmothers’ attention and support, and an inner determination to get out of the small town I was from, that I narrowly graduated. Otherwise, I would no doubt have still been there.

In fact, I often recall a visit I made to my high school counselor to inquire what I must do to get into college. She would look at me as if I had told her a joke that didn’t make much sense and say to me, “If I were you, I would just make it out of high school. Then I would try to get a local job at one of the factories here in town.”

Her advice crushed me that day. So I would never give any more effort to learning than need be.

As an adult, luckily, I’ve had many experiences that have proved that guidance counselor wrong.

I left the small town I’m from shortly after I graduated, and have had several careers (Navy and flight attendant to name a couple) that someone of my “learning capacity” certainly shouldn’t have been able to experience. Not only was I able to get those experiences, but I’ve had the opportunity to travel to several other countries, and I’ve visited every state in the great US of A, except for two (Hawaii and Alaska).

My point is this:

  • Be extremely mindful of the limitations you place on yourself based on what others think you’re capable of doing.
  • Give yourself more credit than others are willing and sometimes able to offer you.
  • If need be, teach yourself what you don’t know by taking the time to invest in yourself. Read… Read… Read.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” ~Proverbs

It’s never too late to learn, or unlearn, a new trick that will unlock your limitlessness.

 

Over to you…

Please leave me your thoughts, impressions, and insights for today’s Reflections. I encourage you to share them in the comment section below. 

Let’s sharpen one another. 

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Harleena Singh October 16, 2012 at 8:27 am

So true Deone!

It’s the people in our lives who are the first ones who don’t have that trust and faith in us, and if such people are in our lives ever since we were kids – be sure that our childhood is all downhill. That self-esteem and confidence that a child needs in those growing years never takes place, instead, you keep feeling worthless and useless in most cases.

I’m glad things happened in your life for the better and you turned a new life and became what you are today.

I guess each moment in our lives is a learning experience – whether good or bad isn’t it? Yes, right now perhaps we can talk good of it all, after we have reached this age and maturity, which wasn’t the case way back then. Either ways – we learn and should remain thankful even for those day.

Thanks for sharing and making us think. :)
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Deone October 16, 2012 at 11:37 am

Hi Harleena,

Thank you for taking the time to read this write up. I truly appreciate your continual support and shared insights here. They are always welcomed.

It’s often discounted of being insignificant – those first relationships we’ve formed – but, they are the root of us. I used to think that blaming my past was the way I needed to go to heal from it. But blame doesn’t heal us, it only brings solidity to the walls that are already in place.

We begin healing by tearing the walls of our limitations down, and that comes by gaining more understanding and realizing a change is possible. There is great power in unlearning and forgiveness.

You’re SO RIGHT, remaining in a place of daily thanksgiving, for the good and the bad, knowing it all is working for our greater good. I always enjoy reading your insights on the post here. Thanks for truly rocking and supporting the message here, Harleena! :)
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Alice Chan October 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

An important topic, and well said, Deone! It\’s so important for us to be able to unlearn what had picked up along the way, whether consciously or unconsciously, that no longer serves us. That paves the way for us to learn what aligns with our expanded self for further expansion. It\’s really a beautiful thing! Thank you for sharing your insights.

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Deone October 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Greetings Alice,

Welcome! :) It’s such a delight to read you here.

Yes, it is such an important topic and one that took me quite some time to grip. Nonetheless, as Publilius so beautifully stated, “It is better to learn late than never.” Since starting my own journey of self-discovery, the one thing I’ve truly appreciated the most has been reaching the understanding that what has been taught and learned along the way doesn’t have to stay in the inner “file cabinet.” I can go through and discharge of any information that no longer serves me and the direction my life is now taking. Isn’t that AWESOME? We all have that choice. We only need to recognize it as being a choice, and proceed forward with the unlearning and retraining ourselves to be who we desire to become – and not who we used to be.

Thanks for stopping in and leaving your thoughts on the post. It’s great reading you here. :)

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Jon Mertz October 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Great points, Deone. We need to discern who we really are and want to be and then go do it. If someone’s beliefs or perceptions of us are getting in the way, then we need to unlearn or unload them, lightening any superficial burden.

Live forward to get the most out of life!

Jon
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Deone October 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Hey Jon,

Thanks mate! “… unlearn and unload…” Exactly! I loved how you put that! I’m truly glad that I was able to reach this understanding, and have been able to make a substantial amount of changes in my life for the better. I believe when we’re able to do this for ourselves we have a responsibility to share our findings with all of those who are willing and needing to do the same.

I appreciate your continual support and friendship, mate. You have been such an inspiration on this journey for me. Thank you for that.

Here’s to living forward! :)

Cheers!

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Kath Roberts October 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

Really enjoyed your post Deone. I particularly like the emphasis you put on unlearning and remembering as it resonates so much with me and what I coach these days.When you get to that core unlimited place you get to appreciate that all the excuses you make in life are just silly self limiting beliefs. For along time as a leader I had this inherited belief that I needed to be in control, to always have the answers and that to show vulnerability was not great. Now I realise that’s a ridiculous concept and hardly endearing to those around you. My strength is my emotional intelligence and ability to build empathy & yet for a long time I wasn’t using it.
Thanks for reminding us of these principles.
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Deone October 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Greetings Kath,

Welcome! It’s great to read you here, my friend. I’m delighted to know you enjoyed this post also.

This lesson has been one of the most important ones I’ve gathered on this journey. Like you said, I have such a great appreciation for being able to unlearn things that are no longer serving a purpose for me at this point in my life. Since that is the case, I have liberated myself from the many excuses I had come up with that kept me away from becoming a leader. I did the very opposite of what you did… I wouldn’t improve because of the inherited fear of being a leader that I learned, to avoid needing to take control. Even though it was on the opposite side of the spectrum, it did just as much damage, if not more. Running from ones calling leaves a constant feeling of incompleteness. The person is constantly trying to fill a hole with something that will never even come close to being what’s needed. You have reminded me of many principles as well. For that, I must thank you for sharing your insights on this write up. You’ve added a much needed depth to the ongoing conversation. Much appreciated, my friend!

Thanks for stopping by. I do hope to read you here again soon. Cheers!

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Jeevan Jacob John October 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm

The people who tell me that I can’t do something – I embrace them more than I do others.

Because those folks make the situation more challenging to me. It makes me want to prove them that they are wrong (Well, it is bad in one case to have that mindset of proving to others, but it can help).

I believe in balance – not an absolute one, but a balance. Balance between our understanding of what we are capable of and what we can’t do (yes, lot of things we can’t possibly achieve).

What I mean is that we should know our limitations and weaknesses. Because knowing them can help us to face them and achieve success.

As with what others say, pay attention to them, but don’t completely follow them (Like I said, balance :D – that’s my strategy).

Thank you for the post, Deone!

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Deone October 21, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I know exactly what you mean, Jeevan! I share that way of thinking. It just took me a while to see these traits in myself.

It’s when people have told me to settle, that I went beyond what I was meant to settle for.

It’s when people have told me I was too dumb to do something, that I would read and find out how to do whatever it was.

It was when they said this or that, that I had to look within myself and find the strength to break free of the limitations and chain of thoughts they wished to keep me locked up with.

The mind is a very powerful tool… if we give it a chance to do so, it will unlock a world of potential for us.

I loved your insights here, buddy! And you’re absolutely right, knowing our limits and weaknesses can help us face and achieve whatever we put our minds too. Great strategy!

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