Expand Your Territory Series – Part 2 — Releasing Me Today

Expand Your Territory Series – Part 2

by Deone on June 14, 2012

 Part 2: Reassessing the Comforts Zone

 

the comfort zone

What state of being do we usually operate in, with the least amount of risk, pain, or resistance?

It’s the familiar territory of the comforts zone.

Over the last year, we have lived in an environment that has embraced mediocrity; where people have chosen to exist, rather than live. The experience has shown me that not everyone who undergoes the journey of self-discovery will be able to make a drastic change in their environment.

If we aren’t able to make such a change, we should start with our inner environment. And one sure fire way of doing this would be to begin reassessing our comforts zone.

 “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

The Increase Is Waiting Outside of  Our Comfort Zone

What if I were to tell you, the increase you seek in your business, finances, relationships, wisdom, and so on – lied solely up to how you perceived doing things differently than you normally did them. Would you believe me?

Well, you should.

This invisible bubble of sorts, we developed learning how to perceive the world around us. As time went on, the bubble grew – we had more and more experiences – which began shaping our opinions, ideas, our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, and our abilities and limitations.

Let’s face it – we are all creatures of habit, aren’t we? Everything we do plays out as being a part of who we are in some way, shape, or form.

Oftentimes, we don’t even know that we’re actually doing things out of habit, because our actions come so second nature for us to do them. We may have even managed to tell ourselves the biggest lie ever – “That’s just a part of my personality.”

I’m sorry, friend – but that just isn’t the case. It has been conditioned as being a part of your personality, but what it really is – is your familiar territory.

Rarely do we ever realize that outside of our familiar territory lies more opportunities and possibilities, that we could not have ever fathomed.

We shall have no better conditions
in the future if we are satisfied with
all those which we have at present.
~Thomas Edison

The  World of Familiarity

Our familiar territory has shaped everything about us – even our mindsets – it’s that familiarity that won’t even allow some people to see the good in those that aren’t just like them. Hence, the reason in some parts of the world racism, sexual preference prejudices, religious denomination’s, gangs,  and the such – are so prevalent in certain parts of the world.

If you really think about it -the comforts zone  has shaped our world. In a recent article I came across in Psychology Today, the author stated how our entire culture is looking for a Comfort Zone. I would definitely agree with that.

To date, one of the hardest things I ever had to do is to begin breaking free from my zone.

I would even say, as a result of it being such a difficult feat, I understand perfectly now why many people accept a way of living, or a way of thinking - in spite of having little to no desire to live in such a way for themselves or their families.

For many, it’s in the place of familiarity (or their comfort zone) that continues to suffocate any potential that may exist within them, and it will manage to keep the individual(s) – who dare not to step outside of that familiarity, believing that a life – of mediocrity or on the opposite end, entitlement – was all they were ever meant to experience.

In today’s society, we each were born in, taught by, or are tied to – in some way – an era where it was a sign of disrespect and disloyalty to go against what we were being shown and taught to believe about life.

When we were growing up and went against whatever we were told to do, we learned that what we were doing was rebelling, and then we learned what the result of rebelling meant. Normally, if you grew up as I did, the result of rebelling against those in authority was never a pleasant experience – but the unpleasantries of the experience conditioned us to refrain from rebelling.

Based on those experiences – and depending on the relationship we had and/or have with those in authority when we were growing up – we recognized that we were expected to please those in authority,  with the choices and decisions we made – we would simply do whatever we thought would get us less negative responses from them – and hopefully more positive ones.

And so, our mindset begins to take shape. That is why we see generations of doctors, scholars, service members, and even poverty in generation lines. You either, went along with whatever the majority around you believed, followed, or practiced; or you risk being seen as someone who rebelled. And as an adult, those who rebel are seen as being a black sheep within their familiar territory.

We as humans can never do better than we know how to do, and if we fail to look beyond what we know – in search for anything better out of life - we’ll never see the best that could potentially come to us.

Reassessing The Comfort Zone

What would you do if you knew you had no limits?

If you didn’t have a comforts zone, what wouldn’t you fear?

Who would you allow yourself to befriend?

What new place would you visit? What new foods would you try?

What would you learn to do differently than you normally do now?

What experiences would you allow to take place?

What dream would you go after?

What opportunities and possibilities would you uncover?

Who would become better because you decided to step out of your comfort zone?

More importantly – who would you become?

Now, what’s blocking you from doing any of these things?

Say it with me now, “Today, I choose to step out of my comfort zone.”

Share your thoughts with me below.

Warning: Considering the answers to these questions could potentially expose you to some of the greatest revelations in your life. 

If you’re enjoying this series, why not consider having RMT sent to your email or RSS feed for updates. Also, please allow me to share further empowerment and inspiration with you, by signing up for the newsletter here, as well.


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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Steve Rice June 14, 2012 at 7:00 pm

“Rarely do we ever realize that outside of our familiar territory lies more opportunities and possibilities, that we could not have ever fathomed.” Awesome thought, my friend.

Have you ever read the little book called “The Dream Giver”? If not, I highly recommend you check it out. It’s all about stepping away from the Comfort Zone…and it’s written as an allegory, so it’s easy to absorb the insights.
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Deeone June 18, 2012 at 8:17 am

Thank you, Steve. :) It’s been a great lesson for me to see come to fruition in my own life.

I have yet to read the book, but it’s going down on my must have list, right away. Thanks for the tip, buddy. I can’t wait to check it out – if you could, can you send me the author’s name at your convenience. Thanks again bud. :) Blessings.
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marquita herald June 15, 2012 at 2:20 pm

What an inspirational message Deeone! Big or small, the comfort zone is one thing we all have in common – it’s just that some people are willing to keep pushing their boundaries while others choose to take comfort in the familiar. It can be a scary thing to push your boundaries when you’re not used to it, but you’ve provided some excellent insight and inspiration here.
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Deeone June 18, 2012 at 8:26 am

Good day Marquita,

I’m so glad to know you enjoyed it. I really enjoyed reading your feedback on this, too.

If we ever want to experience true fulfillment in our lives – we must continuously push those boundaries as far as they will go. The familiar is comforting, indeed – but it will never allow us to tap into our fullest potential. We must make better decisions and choices concerning our lives, and get rid of the box (versus stepping out of it), altogether. :)

Thanks for your contribution to the series, my friend. Blessings.
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MELISASource June 15, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I am SO loving this series Deeone! Just awesome!!

As always, this is very timely for me! I am in the ‘hatchling’ stages of stepping out of my comfort zone in an area that has hurt me far more than helped me: being extremely shy while in public! I love what you are saying here because it is so true for me: my ‘quietness’ is like ‘home’ to me–that is where I feel most comfortable–but that’s not doesn’t mean that it’s the right (or best) way to be, right?!! So this is something that I’m working on: to ‘be rebellious’ as you said, break free from that and stop being so fearful. I’m working on re-training my mindset that in public situations and networking, it’s much better to try but make a mistake than to be too scared to try at all. Opportunities are missed that way–trust me: I know!

You are truly helping me Deeone–this post is so valuable!! ~Thanks a million my friend! :)
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Deeone June 18, 2012 at 8:41 am

I am so very happy to read that you have enjoyed the series, Makeba. Like you, writing it has provided me with some valuable lessons also. It has been extremely rewarding message – I’m 100% certain you will enjoy the last two parts of it.

I can also relate to your “hatchling stage” comparison – I have always been a bit introverted, but since starting RMT I have since started retraining myself to break out of that shell and live. I believe it takes an awareness on our part to notice what we’re doing, when we’re doing it, and change the behavior upon first noticing. The fact that you are doing things that put you in that position tells me that you’re serious about breaking out of your normal routine. That is something to be quite proud of, you know? If no one else has told you, let me be the first to say, I am so very proud of the progress you’re making, my dear friend. May opportunities overtake you for your efforts.

Thank you for sharing your transparent experiences here with me and the other readers. Blessings.
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Lakshmi Balu June 18, 2012 at 3:05 am

Hmm, so important. No person should stagnate in the comfort zone as when the zone is breached one will not feel safe in his own house. I learnt to get the risk on even if it made others think am a fool. Cause if I didn’t do the things I feared, I will never know if I could succeed of fail in the venture. Great post and as the previous post there is an enlightenment inside of me again! Thanks for the cure.

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Deeone June 18, 2012 at 8:54 am

Good day Lakshmi,

I’m so glad to have read that my messages here at RMT is so relatable with you. It’s comments like yours that are the most rewarding for me, as a writer. Thank you for that, my dear. :)

I also loved what you had to say about the comfort zone being breached. Much like you, everything I seek to do now with my life has bought me risk – some have worked out as I had planned, others – not so much. However, whenever we step outside of “the zone”, we are showing ourselves growth in the arena of self-love. The failures and defeats we meet along the way are our greatest asset to relieve ourselves from our familiar territories. Keep growing forward, my friend – I sense that you’re definitely on the right track. :)

Thanks for your contribution here. Blessings.
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Burl June 18, 2012 at 9:46 am

I love that idea of not just thinking outside the box but getting rid of the box all together! There are so many boxes in our lives! I think the myth is that there is only one box. As soon as we get rid of one, we quickly realize that there is another one just waiting for us to start poking at to find the walls. Thanks for an awesome post as always Deeone! Have an awesome day!
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Deeone June 19, 2012 at 8:10 am

Good day Burl,

I thought that was pretty cool myself – we are constantly hearing people say, “Step out of the box” – but in all reality, it’s the box thinking that closes us off to learning more, doing more, and becoming more. You also make a valid point about there being more than one – most people have a tendency of looking at the surface of things; I guess because it’s easier to do. However, I have come to realize in my own life, that most of my “issues” was resting under the water – so to speak. It was boggling like the iceberg that sunk the Titanic, but for years I paid attention only to what was on top of the surface.

Once we get rid of the box of familiarity, we’ll be able to see all that we have been missing out on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, mate. It’s always great to read you here.

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Steve Rice June 18, 2012 at 10:57 am

Sure…no worries. The author is Bruce Wilkinson. I think he’s the same author of Prayer of Jabez if u read that little book many years ago.
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Deeone June 19, 2012 at 8:11 am

Awesomeness! Thanks bud! I’ll look for on the next books purchase. :)

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Theresa Torres June 20, 2012 at 9:11 am

Hi Deeone,
I believe you. I can relate to the points you made.
I don’t know about other introverts but being one myself, I am very reluctant to step out of familiar territory. For me, it’s more like a case of being forced to instead of taking the initiative. Thus, my progress is slow.
But even then, I’m making small changes for the better. I’m doing this at my own pace. My goal is to keep pushing until there’s not a breath left in me. :)
Thanks for the awesome insight!

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Deeone June 21, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hi Theresa,

Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts on the post. :)

I have to admit I snickered a little when I read the “being forced” part. That’s usually the case for most of us, isn’t it? :D In most cases in the past, I was usually kicking and screaming if I ever found myself going in the opposite direction of familiarity.

It’s those small changes we make that make the greatest difference in the long run. I encourage you to keep pushing, my friend. I’m rooting for you – as well as, myself! We all must keep stretching our limits, as much as possible. :D

Cheers!
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Hiten June 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Hi Deeone,

This was a brilliant post with some amazing questions at the end. I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zones recently by taking up improvisational comedy.

The more I practice the art, and read about it, the more I realise how as kids we were supressed to behave and conform and act in certain ways. Our true spontaneous selves were not permitted to manifest, because it wasn’t considered appropriate.

This bad programming when we kids isn’t really our fault. However, accepting as adults that we are stuck in our comfort zones is our responsibility. So is our responsibility to step out of them, if we are ever going realise our true potentials.
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Deeone June 21, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hi Hiten,

Thanks mate! I’m delighted you enjoyed it. That’s SO COOL that you’re taking up improvised comedy! Maybe you can share a video with us of what you’ve learned so far. That’s awesome, bud!

The suppressed behaviors have been one of my greatest lessons, as well. I truly believe that in order for many of us to realize our true potential, we must consider who we were before we received all the conditioning that took place at a early age.

I also liked that you share it wasn’t any fault of ours that it happened – and would go even further in saying, the fault must be relinquished along with the conditioning. Letting go, to me, means just that – letting go of anything that has been blocking us from reaching where we could potentially reach in life. Our comfort zone is a great place to start, in my opinion. :)

It’s always a pleasure to read you here, my friend. Thanks for the contribution to the discussion.
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J.D. Meier June 21, 2012 at 1:44 am

One of my early mentors always reminded me that “growth is awkward” … and when it’s uncomfortable, “that’s what growth feels like.”

Interestingly, whenever I know I’m pushing boundaries, it’s easier for me to lean into it now, knowing it’s what to expect.

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Deeone June 21, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Ah, “Growing Pains” – excellent point, J.D.!

Many times we don’t take into consideration that the discomfort we’re feeling is simply a means to let us know we are growing forward. :)

You’re absolutely right there, mate! Thanks for bringing up that great point!
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Mark Hunt September 5, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Hi Deeon,

I guess the best comfort zone to be in is getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Sounds weird, but 20 years ago my wife decided to leave me with our kids and I lost my job at the same month.

I was unemployed for a year and a half, living in a 1 room basement apartment on a 485 dollar monthly budget. And you know what the only thing that kept me sane was the fact that after the first 3 months it wasn’t that bad.

I was comfortable feeling uncomfortable; I’ve had nothing to lose anymore because I lost everything already. From that point I was just getting stronger and stronger.

Have a great day,
Mark
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Deone September 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I respect and appreciate your willingness to share such a personal experience here, Mark. It’s these types of messages that I believe help others with their own releasing moments.

Whenever we hit rock bottom it appears we will never bounce back from it, but we must not get carried away by the waves of uncertainty. We must teach ourselves in that state of being that we’re meant to ride that wave, using the current as a lesson for the next storm in our lives. I shared a great quote from Les Brown in a post more recent than this one titled, “Life Changes: Get out of the Shell of the Comforts Zone.” The says, “If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.”

When we are thrust into conditions that seem unbearably uncomfortable, it may just be that we ourselves are being stretch to reach past what’s always been familiar to us.

Thanks again for lending your confirming experience to this ongoing discussion. Blessing, my friend.

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