Are We Our Own Worst Enemy? — Releasing Me Today

Are We Really Our Own Worst Enemy?

by Deone on May 31, 2012

my own worst enemy“You are your own worst enemy.” The little voice on her right shoulder said.

“Really? Ah, I don’t think so“, said the other, but which one of them was right?

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Over the past weekend, as I gazed across the Georgia Mountains, taking in all that the environment offered me – its beauty, the still silence, and a mysterious, almost eerie, powerful presence that seemed to linger around me where I sat and pondered on life. It was there this post came and the series I’ll be presenting next week, came to life.

I shared recently with you in a previous post, how I believe nature inspires us not only in being a resource available for our use, but how it also comes to teach us things about ourselves, in the process.

A Lesson on the Mount

The lesson I would gather, sitting on the side of the mountain and staring out into one of the Universe’s greatest masterpieces, left me questioning ever using the statement concerning myself, ever again.

It certainly wouldn’t be because I am convinced I will no longer make any more mistakes, and I cannot say with much certainty that every wrong choice and decision I make from now on, will be the result of me shooting my own self in the foot.

Nope, my one and only reason for discharging this statement from my self-talk, and why I think you should as well,  is mainly because I truly believe that what we focus on and speak into our lives the most, increases.

This journey of self-discovery has enlightened me of not only the lies and hypocrisies I took possession of from others, but it has also – more so, in fact – has shown me where I was falling short in my self-communications and better life practices with myself.

Here are just a few other inconsistencies and solutions, I see with using the saying we are our own worst enemy. It’s my hope, you’ll never see yourself as your enemy ever again, either.

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” ~Abraham Lincoln

 

You Are What You Think, ActSay, and Accept That You Are

  • We treat our enemies a bit differently, than we do our friends and loved ones, don’t we? If we are our own enemies, how much better will we allow ourselves to be treated, by others and ourselves? If we were to see ourselves as an enemy, it would be difficult to believe we are worthy of having the best that life has to offer us.

Solution: Treat yourself like the King or Queen that you are, and see yourself rather as a lover of your own life, a confidant, and a comrade. When we see ourselves in a better light, we treat others (and ourselves) accordingly, and demand that others do the same. If other people aren’t able to treat you, as you deserve to be treated, then they don’t deserve YOU, either.

  • An enemy should always be watched, and be considered a threat. If you were your enemy, are you watching your own actions, thoughts, and conversations – ensuring that none of them is blocking you from reaching your fullest potential in life? What are you settling for in your life, throughout your environment, and in your belief system, that you could potentially be used as a threat against yourself later?

Solution: Become mindful of whom you are to you. Recognize whatever you believe about yourself, your past, each of your experiences (whether good or bad), and begin immediately, making changes to anything that may have you living a life of mediocrity, or even living it as a victim. Get better at being you.

  • Many choose to see their enemies as a distant memory; they may have forgiven them, or they’ve simply forgotten about them, altogether – using the experience as a reason to cut off all ties to that individual in question. Now, imagine if we were to treat ourselves in this fashion, and each time we had a mishap, experienced a failure or disappointment, or even if we discovered a fear in our life; we’d be cutting ourselves off and disassociating ourselves from ourselves, each time. It may seem as if it would prove to be difficult for some people to do this to themselves, but if you’re in doubt, I employ you to visit a psychiatric ward or a prison of your choice, to see firsthand what a person who has disassociated with themselves and the world, looks like.

Solutions:  Give yourself a break. Wipe up the spills in your life, and move on. F.I.Y – life is about having experiences and gathering the lessons it has to teach us. Experiences come from performing actions and making mistakes. Without mistakes, failures, and disappointments, we would have no experiences.

  • Today’s random thoughts could become tomorrow’s reality. If we become more focused on giving our past, our mistakes, failures, disappointments, and fears, the title tags to classify us as being our own worst enemy; we cannot be surprised when we begin treating ourselves like the enemy.

Solutions: Retrain your way of thinking about yourself and the world. Change your environment – and if you can’t change your environment right away, then start by changing your inner environment.

 

What Do You See When You Look Your Way

The perception we carry about ourselves shines through, as a brilliant sunrise does on each brand new day; we can’t help but to attract certain things and people into our lives because of what we consciously and unconsciously are sending out.

Mastering a better positive self-talk about ourselves changes what we’re telling others, whenever we’re telling them who we are

It’s our own perception of ourselves that others will base the respect they’ll render to us, as well as how much trustworthiness they will supply on our behalf.

So no thank you, to whomever it may concern, I will not adopt the belief that I am an enemy of me. For I know with a lot more certainty, that as a man thinks, so shall he become.

So again I ask, are we really our own worst enemy? I hope you’ll join me by saying, “No thank you, I am not my enemy!”

 

What are you thinking?

Are we really our worst enemy? Are we responsible for consistently acting, thinking, and saying things that render unto us self-sabotaging outcomes in our lives? Speak to me, let me read your release!

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Chrysta Bairre May 31, 2012 at 9:25 am

I used to be my own worst enemy and now I’m my own best friend! One is certainly more pleasant than the other, and the amazing thing I’ve learned is I am a better friend to all when I’m a friend to myself first.

Learning to keep the focus on myself and start making positive choices for my own health and well being was essential to experiencing a happy, healthy, productive, and purposeful life.

Whenever I find myself judging someone else I am reminded to mind my own thoughts and feelings. Are my actions in line with my values and goals?

And whenever I find myself judging myself too harshly I am reminded to treat myself no differently than I would treat a small child- with patience, kindness, and compassion.

Have a grateful day!

Chrysta
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Deeone May 31, 2012 at 3:19 pm

That’s a wonderful outlook, Chrysta! It’s funny that you should say, “I’m my own best friend.” The title of this post for the last few days was, “Are Our Own Worst Enemy Or New BFF?” I only made a change to it this morning as I was publishing it. :D

You listed great points that could have tied in perfectly with this post. Especially the part where you said, “…I would treat a child…” That’s a wonderful way of looking at it. I’m making a mental not of it as I finish responding to your feedback here… that was rich!

Thank you for sharing.

Cheers! :D
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Bonnie May 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

oh Wow Deeone. I don’t even know what to say to this post except thank you and brilliant!

In the past I have suggested that we try to treat ourselves the same way we might treat a favorite child. Sweetness, kindness, compassion but with loving boundries to keep them safe.

I love your approach with problem/solution. This will really help a lot of people to see what they ought to be doing rather than just saying what not to do; which in my experince if FAR more helpful.

Have I mentioned how much I adore you? You are such a light in this world Deeone.

xoxo
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Deeone May 31, 2012 at 7:30 pm

I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, sweets. :) You and Chrysta are on the same wave length today, as far as the treating ourselves as we would a child. I’d say that’s confirmation, eh. ;)

I really do try my best to keep ‘the do as I say, and not as I do’ tone to minimum here. If you ever notice it – in anything I post – PLEASE bring it to my attention. I know I don’t really care for that myself, and I wouldn’t want to do it to others, either.

With the type of material that I write, it’s a challenge sometimes to get the message across without it having that kind of tone to it.

Nevertheless, I think I’ve managed to keep it pretty informative – at least, I think I have. :-/ Hold up, let me check, right quick…. yeah, it’s good. Just kidding. :D

Thanks for the encouragement and kind words, my friend. I so appreciate it and you. ;)
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Adrienne May 31, 2012 at 12:45 pm

What a wonderful share Deeone and I am my own best friend. I love myself, I love who I am and what I’ve become. I can’t even remember a time I use to think this way of me.

I love you reminding us all though that we need to treat ourselves well because I know for a fact that it will be shared with others and bring more of that into our lives.

I love this post so thank you so much for taking the time to write this one as you enjoyed looking out over the countryside.

You’re the best Deeone.

~Adrienne
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Deeone May 31, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I’m definitely thrilled to hear you enjoyed it, Adrienne. And you know what, I love you, too! :)

I do hope this encourages people to see their own awesomeness, concerning their own lives. I also hope it inspires them to celebrate the life they’ve been given.

You’re so very welcome too.

I imagine, you were able to see the best, because you hold the title, as well.

Thanks again for your thoughts on this, my friend. It’s always a pleasure to see that smile here at RMT. :)
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CEZAR May 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Yo Deeone – I found your blog through Akos Fintor’s.. What an awesome find! Definitely dig your post man. The continual tug of war that goes on in our mind is what we make our reality.. I really do believe that our inner dialogue of fear vs courage is what makes or breaks our lives here on earth.

I agree with you.. We shouldn’t say we’re our own worst enemy. We should say that we are our greatest ally… Or as you put it, we are our greatest confidant and comrade…

Thanks for sharing man!

Cezar
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 12:01 am

How’s it going, Cezar? And welcome to RMT, my friend!

Akos, is truly a great guy! So if, you found me on his site, that gives me the impression that you are, as well. :) It’s a pleasure to read you here.

I am overly thrilled that you enjoyed this message and found it to be useful. It’s always great to read all of the readers perspective to what’s been written here, but I genuinely enjoy reading a new readers, first comment shared. So thank you for allowing me the privilege of reading you man.

Feel free to stop back through, anytime. Cheers! :)
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MELISASource June 1, 2012 at 12:17 am

I must be honest with you Deeone–I have never looked at it this way before!

You’re right–we’ve been conditioned that saying we’re our own worst enemy is a good thing because we are “acknowledging” the source of our problem(s), yet no one (that I know of at least) has ever said what comes after that or given anymore as to how keeping this statement inside our minds and constantly speaking it has such an enormous effect on how we treat ourselves and what treatment we allow from others. I believe that what you said is true–we really are the sole ones responsible for the thoughts, words and actions that bring about self-sabotage ( I mean, look at all of the people who have overcome far worse than us, right?). It’s so important that we learn this way of thinking and rid ourselves of the other way that causes us to view our own selves as the enemy instead of friend.

I love this one — Speaking a lot of wisdom here! Very timely! :)
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 12:14 am

Thank you so kindly for sharing your honesty with me on this, Makeba. I am always pleased after reading your thoughts on something I’ve shared. :)

I am also overjoyed that this share offered you different perspective to a familiar problem, that I am coming to believe, we each face. Lately, it seems I have been bombarded (in a good way) of a need to make more positive changes to my self-talk. I think that we have to become extremely mindful about what we say to ourselves; especially when we think we aren’t listening.

As always, thank you sincerely for sharing your thoughts on this, my dear. ;)
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Harleena Singh June 1, 2012 at 11:55 am

Wonderful post Deeone!

I can well imagine what your wonderful getaway did to you, as I see you all rejuvenated and refreshed, and piping with new ideas and inspiration. This is exactly the reason we need such breaks – isn’t it?

You are so right in saying that ‘I am not my own enemy’ which is what I would ditto too. I think we need to learn to love and respect ourselves, and take responsibility for the decisions we make, whether they are the right or the wrong ones.

I guess a lot depends on your outlook towards things and life in general, and how you take them, whether in the positive way or the negative way, which is what frames your state of mind. Yes, we all do undergo those down moments and are flooded with thoughts, but most of us do fight it right back, and become our own best friends too. :)

Thanks for sharing and reminding all of us to love ourselves and take each moment, however it may be, as a learning experience. :)
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 12:33 am

Thank you for the compliment on this, Harleena!

Now, I must offer you one as well. A wonderful comment, my friend. It truly lit me up reading what you got from the message here.

Yes, the getaway was truly amazing, but it wasn’t a getaway in a sense of free time… we’re in the middle of relocating once again, and this time we’re considering the mountains. Mainly because we both are missing the privacy and silence, we seem to experience in a more rural setting.

After only being in that type of setting for a weekend experience, I was able to write this post and an upcoming series – if we do end up relocating there, I believe that it will allow me an opportunity to finish a few writing projects – that some days prove a bit difficult for me to do, living here in the middle of the city. So, yes indeed, my friend – breaks, silence, and peace, are truly gifts from our Creator. They allow us to function better with focus and clarity to achieve our goals, more effectively.

Many phenomenal keywords in your thoughts here, words that encourage us to improve our self-talk. Words such as, learn to love and respect ourselves, taking responsibility, and outlook. Each of these are key points a person must consider when improving ones relationship with self. :)

Thank you for sharing such wonderful thoughts on the post. :)
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Lance June 1, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Deeone,
Your visit to the mountain sounds wonderful (and I know that I, too, draw much from nature).

There are certainly days when I limit myself because I am just that – my own worst enemy. And the thing is – when I’m more fully my own best friend – I connect more fully and more openly with who I truly am. And that feels good… (okay – so I guess that means I know where I need to focus, huh!)

Thanks for your wise words…
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 12:48 am

Hey Lance, great to read you here, my friend. :)

The visit was truly a wonderful one. It was actually more than a visit, however, we’re planning a relocation, and Jasper is one of the places up North Georgia, that we’re considering as an option. I hope things work in our favor that we will be able to call the place we visited that weekend, our future home. (Yep, I totally put claims on it, just now. ) :D

Concerning your focus – I’d say that’s an affirmative, my friend.

If we ever discover the area wherein we operate and function at our best, it would be extremely wise for us to teach ourselves how to zone in the area, as much as possible.

I believe you have what it takes, man! Make the connection with the awesome individual, that I am incredibly grateful to have connected with on this journey. (FYI, that’s you, bud. ) :D

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)
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Craig McBreen June 1, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Hey Deeone,

I was my own worst enemy for, well, most of my life ;) It took a while to stop all that internal chatter, but better late than never, right?

This is a very helpful post, because I think many get caught up in an endless cycle.

I did this crap for years and it really can be soul crushing. The stuff festers and you just keep amplifying it with those thoughts. It’s a tough rut to get out of for sure.

I realized it was all about fear. That’s the big one, but you gotta learn to embrace it.

Anyway, very well-written and helpful post, Sir.

I imagine lots of sun in Georgia. I often miss that orb here in Seattle ;) … but I don’t miss the humidity experienced as a kid in Maryland.
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 1:16 am

Hey Craig,

I have read many of your post where you have shared your honesty (even if it’s a weakness you’re sharing) with your readers. It’s one of the things that I’ve come to respect and appreciate about you and your message.

I’m sure there are many others, like you and I , who still haven’t been able to see the awesomeness they possess, because they have the endless cycle, set to repeat over, and over again. Each time something doesn’t turn out as planned – there goes the repeat cycle.

When we turn the endless cycle in our head off; which takes a lot of practice in itself – we are then better able to hear the solutions our creative juices are flowing in our direction.

Thanks for the encouragement on this one, man. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this with me.

I hope you’re enjoying your time in the Big Apple. Can’t wait to hear how it went. Cheers!
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Glori June 2, 2012 at 9:01 pm

The picture says it all. I think it’s our decision to make ourselves into our own either best and worst enemy. unfortunately, we seem to make that unconscious decision to sabotage ourselves. (I’m very guilty of this.)
As I like to say, it’s all about self-awareness…
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 1:23 am

Hi Glori, and welcome to RMT!

Self-awareness certainly is a gift that many of us don’t use or fail to use it, effectively. I believe we have to retrain our way of thinking and doing things – and stop any thought that doesn’t approve of our personal success, in it’s tracks! :)

Catch the thought and immediately destroy it in the beginning stages – it may take several approaches to truly master, but I believe what ever we focus on and practice doing better, will increase every time, don’t you? :)

Thank you for stopping in and sharing your thoughts on this. It’s a pleasure to read you, my friend. :)
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Farouk Radwan June 4, 2012 at 4:53 am

that’s a deep post
thank you for the information Deeone

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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

You’re welcome, Farouk. :)
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Ralph June 4, 2012 at 7:51 am

Deeone, nicely done!

Good way to approach the perils of self-awareness my friend. You are so right that whatever we think of ourselves we exude without even knowing it. Your attitude towards yourself is the attitude that you can expect from others.

It’s amazingly simple but extremely complex at the same it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. It’s a difficult one but really important in anyone’s journey to become a better person.

Good to be by here.
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Thanks Ralph,

We literally are what we believe ourselves to be. A thought will take its shape the moment we plant the seed of it in our minds. The only way for it not to be able to do so, is by stopping it the moment we notice it there.

It is amazingly simple and extremely complex – that’s why I believe it was so difficult for me – and many others – to grasp “the rules of the game” concerning thoughts. Awareness is key though. If we become more aware of what we think, only then can we begin eliminating what doesn’t work for the betterment of our self- transformation.

It’s always a pleasure to read you here, my friend. :) Thanks for sharing your insights on the post.

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Burl June 4, 2012 at 11:49 am

Love the idea of taking our-self “enemy” and turning it into our-self “friend”! Back from Honduras and catching up on what I missed. Great post as always my friend! Have an awesome day!
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Deeone June 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Hey Burl,

Glad to have you back in the cyber-world, my friend. That seemed like a really long three weeks. :D However, I imagine you enjoyed yourself, and that takes precedence over time, any day of the week.

Thanks for dropping in and letting me know what you thought of the post. I really appreciate it, bro. :)

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Lakshmi Balu June 14, 2012 at 8:52 am

Hi Deeone,

Thank you! The thought of an inner enemy and that being myself. I always downed myself. Certain traditions, pressures and other negative aspects made me a self hater (Trying my best to clear out) But your post, the title to be honest struck that right nerve to make me realize what I am upto with myself. Appreciate your effort in healing people like me :)

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Deeone June 18, 2012 at 8:04 am

Hi Lakshmi,

It’s wonderful to meet you, my friend, and Welcome to RMT, as well.

I understand wholeheartedly what you mean, as well. I continuously self-sabotaged myself in the past, and could never quite figure out why things weren’t working out for me as I planned. These lesson have been a lamp for me, for the last couple of years. I’m glad to know it reached you, as well.

Thank you for sharing such transparency with me. I truly appreciate it and you, my new friend. Blessings.
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Mark Hunt June 21, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Hi Deeone,

From my own life experience, this short sentence summarize it all – Give yourself a break. It took me 15 years to learn this lesson, and if you allow me to say this was and still is one of the most important lessons I ever taught myself.

Thank you so much, I really enjoy your blog.
Mark
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Deeone June 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Hi Mark,

Most excellent point, my friend. I shared something similar in a earlier post – “Give Yourself a Little Slack.: In it, was this quote… “God didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?”

You’re right – that’s been one of the greatest lessons for me, as well. :)

I’m glad you are liking it here, Mark. I enjoy reading(hearing) from you, my friend.

Cheers!
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