I’m blessed and honored to be connected to some of the most fabulously awesome people in social media.
On Monday, you met Jeremy Brown of Social2Cents who told us that “sometimes life has a different plan than the one you envision for yourself.” If you missed his awesome guest post, check it out after reading this post. I’m certain you’ll enjoy it. I know that I sure did.
On today, I’m overjoyed to have another friend and guest blogger here at Releasing Me Today. I’ve known this talented young lady for several months now, and I’m so happy to introduce to those of you whom haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet, Bonnie Copeland of My Rivendell.
First things first! I must take a moment to thank my truly lovely friend Deeone for extending the most generous offer of a spot guest blogging for Releasing Me Today. I am quite honored and excited to have the opportunity to be a part of something so wonderful.
In keeping with the theme of Releasing Me Today I want to talk about beliefs. We all have them and it is through these beliefs that we live our lives. In order to release our past we need to examine our belief system.
For most of us our internal belief system is created, formed and shaped when we were just little tykes. We learned about the world and how it works through watching our parents and other caregivers. We learned through experiences we had. Most importantly we learned and formed opinions and beliefs about our selves.
Some of these beliefs are helpful. You know…don’t eat things that you find on the sidewalk or it’s a bad idea to run out into traffic after a lost ball for example. Helpful because they keep us safe.
Many of our beliefs however are negative and unhelpful. Often these beliefs are what keep us stuck in a situation. Often times these are the ones we hold about ourselves. Ones that often start with “I can’t“… or “I’m not good enough to“.
Some beliefs used to be helpful. Such as “Never, ever talk to strangers.” A good tip for a 5 year old to keep them from getting lost or hurt. However, it becomes a bit problematic as we get older. Imagine heading off to university or to your first job unable to talk to anyone you didn’t already know. It is going to be a problem to continue to hold this dynamic; so we have to adjust our belief system to understand the exceptions or simply cast it aside.
When Was the Last Time You Deliberately Examined Your Belief System?
Don’t feel bad if you have never done this. First of all, no one ever teaches us that we should! It can be a bit painful to examine these old beliefs because many of them are related to our sense of self. It is uncomfortable to look at what we believe and start to think that maybe, just maybe, these beliefs do not serve us any more or worse; perhaps they never did!
“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.” ~ Gandhi
What you believe becomes true, at least for you. The sad thing is so many people have a belief that they are not good enough or worthy. We react and make choices based on this internal belief and this sort of self sabotage creates a self fulfilling prophecy as we attract into our lives those things that reinforce that belief.
The scary and glorious thing is our beliefs create our thoughts and what we think creates our life. Isn’t that amazing to realize?
So okay…now we can see where we might be writing on our life pages some stuff we don’t need because of what we believe we deserve or are capable of. Now what?
You must look objectively at some of these beliefs. Take time to write down what you think of a situation or activity. Look at them and examine where they come from.
I have had to do this very thing in my own life. Before you can release the past fully you must look at it. If I can share something personal with you, I avoided certain life lessons because they were painful for me to face. I’d skirt issues, peek at them from the corner of my eye; oh yes, I knew they were there but I didn’t want to deal with them.
And as you can imagine the universe conspires at times to teach you what you really need to learn so you can release that pain and grow.
The Universe Knows Best
The universe decided that the divine whispers were not getting through, and so shouted at me in the form of a car accident. I was forced to learn lessons like asking for help and to learn to accept it; I learned I was capable and stronger than I ever would have guessed before. I learned that I was worthy of being taken care of.
With the help of a fabulous lady who counselled me, I began to examine some of my own beliefs. At the root of my ‘independence’ was fear and a belief that I wasn’t good enough or really worthy of genuine affection and because of this, I could only ever count on myself.
The important thing to learn is not to blame but understand with compassion. Understanding is key. My grandparents once told me at five years old they didn’t like me very much. Shocking isn’t it? I still vividly remember that happening. They were trying to shame me into acting a certain way and all I remember is wondering why and what was wrong with me.
What I learned recently is that my grandparents had their own beliefs rooted in fear and self depreciation and in their own way, they were doing the best they could with what knowledge they had. I recognize they were unable to understand that they could love me just as much their first beloved grandchild and no one was diminished by this.
Understanding, not blame, allowed me to release that pain, forgive and shift my belief to one of being capable of loving myself. Without this shift and release, I would only continue to invite more people and situations into my life that reinforce the idea that I am not lovable, capable or worthy of affection.
I suspect just about every person has limiting beliefs hiding somewhere that prevent them from successful relationships, from abundance and from fully embracing who they are. Until we learn to embrace and love ourselves, we will continue to throw up roadblocks to our own happiness.
To begin to shift your mindset and beliefs, first examine the belief you hold around something. Objectively ask yourself if that belief is true. As long as you believe it, that belief is real; but not always true. At that point you can reject the belief that no longer serves you.
I want you understand this if nothing else. You get to choose your thoughts. Truly, some might seem automatic because you’ve been practicing that reel so often, but you can choose to reject a thought as false and choose to believe something else.
Until you shift your old belief system you cannot change your situation. You cannot begin to write a new story of joy and abundance on your life pages. You cannot let go. You cannot move out of stuck.
Releasing the Power Within
To quote Louise Hay “The point of power is always in the present moment.” You have the power within you. Change takes place right here, right now in our minds every second. The past is gone and to move forward you must let it go.
Let me help you with my favorite affirmation. I still use this. I look in the mirror and out loud tell my reflection “You can, you will and you are love”. It was hard at first. It felt awkward and I was overcome by emotion more than once from feeling the release of fear and old pain. It’s not always easy but you should embrace these feelings as it‘s part of the process of healing.
Now, I smile when I say it. Heck sometimes I even say it to myself walking down the street. It feels good!
I ask that you consider your beliefs, reject the negative and insert a positive. Try out that affirmation or one of your own for a week and see the difference. I’d love to hear that you are choosing what shows up on your own life pages.
If I was a betting girl, I’d bet you already know a thought or two you could work on; am I right?
“Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.” ~James Bryant Conant
Now it’s your turn.
Do you believe that our belief system plays an important role in how we see ourselves? Have you been told something that required you to reevaluate your beliefs about yourself? Please, share with me your releasing moments. You never know who your experiences may help.