The past is a very powerful place. It is in the past that the person we see daily in the mirror has been created. All of our ideas, views, opinions, and mindsets, whether positive or negative have been shaped and molded by our past. Well, on today I encourage us all to build a bridge and get over those negative and hurtful things of the past.
If the experience was a good one, we cling to them, treasuring the memories they produced and applying what we learn from them to our daily lives. So it’s only natural that we do the same in the instances where the experience was negative or hurtful to us as well.
The problem with the latter though is that some of the negative experiences we have had have caused us as individuals to have a negative attitude as well. We often fail to take into consideration just how much of an impression the past has had on our present lives.
If hurtful, past experiences has a tendency of causing us to become not only negative, but bitter, mean, callous, and wrecked individuals, we then gladly build invisible walls to protect ourselves from ever feeling that type of hurt or pain again.
There is a Sir Isaac Newton Quote that inspires us to take another approach to building walls of protection from our past hurts. Instead of building those invisible walls, we should often take into consideration tearing those walls down, and using the “material of our past” to build bridges and getting over those past hurts altogether.
“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.” Isaac Newton
It’s so easy to hold onto the injustices that other’s have caused or that we think they may have caused, keeping that hurt in the back of our mind for “future references.”
Future references rarely ever come. Each experience is new, just like each new individual that we allow into our lives is different and new as well. There is simply no way an individual can apply the same scenario or experiences of their past to a different instance in their present or future lives. It simply isn’t going to work. Sure, we can learn from our past experiences and use it to help us, but holding on just for the sake of holding it would be ludicrous and harmful to a person’s health and well-being.
So here I have outlined Five ways to build a bridge and get over it. Do these and take back the life you have always dreamed of having, but may have been afraid to live.
Five Ways to Build a Bridge and Get Over Past Hurts
- Acknowledgment that the instance of the past actually happened is the first step.
- Realization that the instance is over. The hurt is a part of your past for a reason, and guess what? Look around you… you made it through it. And it’s OK to move on.
- Give forgiveness to all parties involved, especially too yourself. However, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that things will go back to normal with those involved, that will take time and/or counseling. I definitely recommend the latter of the two, but that I don’t in any way, shape, or form, profess to be. I do know that if you relinquish any and all the negative feelings you have towards those that have caused you personal hurt or anguish, you ultimately are freeing yourself.
- Daily allowance for the occurrence to become a building block instead of a stumbling block. Use the past as a tool towards building a more solid foundation towards your own future.
- Start your life over from this point on, and surround yourself with people and things (self-help books, positive T.V. programs, and by subscribing to websites such as “Releasing Me Today”) that promote your own personal growth and development.
It’s best to start building your own bridge to getting over the hurts of the past today. Putting it off until tomorrow has been proven to be detrimental. I wish you the best in building your bridge and in releasing the hurts of yesterday.
All the best to you! :)
As always, your comments and feedback are most certainly welcomed! I’d love to hear what you think and how you feel about building a bridge and getting over the past.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Great insight into forgiveness (both of ourselves and of others). Thanks for sharing. It really is important to acknowledge the experience, but then move on from it by choosing consciously what it means to us (or has meant in the past and will mean in the future). The cool thing is what a particular experience meant in the past is not the same meaning it must carry into our future.
Have a great week, my friend and thanks for sharing.
Hi Steve,
And thanks for stopping in and checking this post out. I really appreciate it buddy. I’m glad you enjoyed the post as well.
You’re absolutely right about the importance of acknowledging the experience. I find that a lot of people try to ignore the experience and wish it away. This only funnels the experience to the bottle of the pile, and at some point it makes it’s way back to the surface. We only truly deal with such cases when we face them and come to grips with our emotions that were form with the experience itself happened. Wishing it away is just another form of human denial. That is the biggest error that we as humans could ever make.
I have tried many times myself to sweep my past hurts and pains under the rug. Hoping with all my might that it never reared it’s ugly little head ever again, but each time I’ve tried this it only popped back up with the same, if not more, pain than it originally had in the first place. Great points my friend.
As always, it’s a pleasure to hear from you bud! I truly appreciate you and your feedback.
Have a super Monday my friend.
Hey Deeone,
Loved this post man. Good spiritual practices like the ones that you outlined in your post are fundamental for feeling good and getting over the past.
#5 is my favorite one and the one that resonates with me the most. I believe that we have “bad” experiences as sort of a contrast tool.
When I think of my first job I think the word “nightmare” but it was my first job and I didn’t really specify what kind of job and the working conditions that I desired.
Now whenever I choose anything new to create I specify as precisely as I can what I want. I know the answer because of experiencing what I didn’t like.
Take Care.
Hey there my friend,
Glad to hear that you enjoyed the post Justin. I’ve learned through much trial and error that we get back what we send out. That also helps me in getting over the past as well.
It also sounds to me that you too have mastered in the knowledge of the power that our thoughts and our words carry for us. That is not only apparent in your comment here, but also throughout your website as well. For that, I am appreciative and grateful for the connection.
It’s always a pleasure to hear from you buddy. Thanks for such an awesome feedback.
All the best to you my friend. Have an amazing week!
Hi Deeone, I have to say this post was timely for me. Of the steps that you laid out I think the most difficult must be the first. Giving yoruself permission to feel the hurt, allow it to be is painful and scary but a neccesary step to moving past.
I really like the idea you present of using the walls to build bridges. Fabulous metephor. It really hones in on what needs to be done to move yourself forward.
I’m looking forward to sharing this post.
Hello Bonnie,
Thanks for coming through and sharing. You made some great points!
To me, each step requires a little patience on the individuals part. It shouldn’t be expected by the individual for any of the steps to be conquered over night. Like most things in life, it takes time to give yourself permission to acknowledge that you were hurt. I have found myself many times wondering if I would ever get over some of my past occurrences and issues, but once I offered myself a little leeway, it became something that I could manage to achieve overtime.
I’m also glad that you enjoyed the post. It’s something that I continue to deal with and grow from myself. Most of my post are personal issues that I have endured or am enduring right now. So I not only offer solutions to some of life’s problems, but I am constantly applying them to myself; seeking input and insight from others to see how they would go about handling them as well. And this post on forgiveness is one that I am constantly working on, let me tell you.
Thanks for sharing your feedback! And for the compliments my friend. I really appreciate them both.
Also, I truly hope that your birthday has been a wonderful one indeed.
I agree with you so very strongly. I had some things happen in life (didn’t we all?) that I couldn’t get past. I was immobilized. Finally, when I realized that I’d never be happy again if I kept clinging to the past, I let go.
I’m eternally thankful that I did. Life has risen up and met me half-way again, and I love every day and every lesson that I teach. It’s a good life, but it doesn’t happen until we let go, welcome the future, and build any bridges needed to get the to other side of our issues.
Great post, Deeone.
Hi there Paula,
Thank you for sharing that awesomeness!
It can be really hard to admit that you’ve either are currently or have clung to a hurt of the past, but to me that’s apart of the releasing process. Taking ownership. It’s truly the power of release. It sounds like you managed to face the problem head on and deal with it. Way to go Paula!!
It’s such a great feeling when we finally know that the weight that we’ve might have been carrying for years was just waiting for us to lay it down. You’re right, it’s a good life, but it certainly doesn’t happen until we consciously decide to let the weight go.
Welcome Future!!
Deeone,
What a great point! Our futures are often held captive by our pasts! And while we learn from the past and it holds the secrets to understanding us, it doesn’t have to damn our next steps and crush our dreams!
It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s happened that’s hurt us. But if we take a moment to see what it really is that we want, it’s the complete opposite of what we are spending our time focusing on!
So here’s to dwelling on the present and working towards the future- a place unmarred by mistakes and open to all of the possibilities!
Excellent remarks Tammy!
I loved how you said, “Our futures are often held captive by our pasts!” Isn’t that the truth! It’s being held and sabotaging us to believe that it’s the way it was meant to be. Pure foolishness. We can free ourselves if we believe we can. And once we believe we can the hard part has already been done. The hold-up is over!
Each step after that is one that is closer to our being free from the bondage of our past.
Here’s to dwelling on the present luv!
It’s time to ROCK OUT our future. I hope it’s ready! 
These are great thoughts. The biggest issue is following through each and every day. We need to weave these into a ritual to insure we do- because it’s not the knowledge of how to build bridges that counts- but the fact that we extend that bridge an inch further every day, so sooner or later, we have an extension between both bedrocks, securing our transports, and keeping us elevated (above the fray).
Very well said Roy! Hey? Have you built a bridge before?!
I loved that message! I should have worked the latter part of your message into this post. That’s good stuff!
You are so right though, it doesn’t stop at getting over the past and thinking that’s the end of the journey. It’s a daily exercise that one surely has to practice. There has never been a bridge that I know of that has went up in one day flat. They always take time in going up. However, they can come down in seconds flat. Maintenance is always a major concern and should always be taken into consideration.
Thanks for that awesomeness there Roy! Good stuff!
Well said, Deeone. Forgiveness is the hardest, I think. Especially hard to forgive yourself sometimes. I love that quote by Sir Isaac Newton. This is a good blog post to keep around to remind us that we need to move on. It’s sad that so many feel the need to stay stuck in the past. ~Suerae
PS. Nice work!
Hey Suerae,
Thanks for compliment!
Forgiveness is definitely one of those things that require some muscle, that’s for sure. It can even be a challenge to give to oneself. It’s a day-by-day process that must not be given up on until achieved though, and even after being achieved it requires a daily blast of confidence to uphold it. I believe that’s what Sir Isaac Newton was saying though when he made this quote. Simply because in order to build a bridge, forgiveness is definitely required. I am constantly reaching for my own daily, for myself and to offer unto others. And man, it seems as soon as you offer it (forgiveness), the next one is even harder the next time to offer! Our work is never done.
Thanks for the feedback! I’m super glad that you enjoyed the post.
Great day to you!
Interesting how both of us have posted a similar message this week. Glad to see you using these great tools and passing them on
Awesome Roberta! That only meant that the message was meant to be written.
I’ll have to check your post out tomorrow. Enjoy your evening. 
Hi Deeone,
Letting go of the old me has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do and I find I still have to work at it. It’ so easy to react to life based on what you’ve experienced before instead of acting from a place of how you would like things to be.
Consciously creating our experiences takes time and some effort but it is well worth it when we start to receive what we always wanted from life instead of just getting what we’ve always got.
Great post.
Liax
Hi Lia and Welcome,
You know what…. I truly appreciate your comment! It sounds very familiar to my own. I also loved your second line…”It’ so easy to react to life based on what you’ve experienced before instead of acting from a place of how you would like things to be.” I find this to be SO VERY TRUE!
The challenges I’ve faced with this website is breaking past life’s experiences that I’ve had that have formed their own expressions and opinions within me. My ego is forever telling me that I’m doing to much, and my spirit is reverberating that I’m not doing enough. And you’re right… it’s a constant battle that sometimes gets so hard to fight.
However, I would like to think that there is more victory in the fact that we acknowledge that there is a change that’s needed within us, and we’re constantly working towards that inner change. Just because it has not taken place fully, we should never go through life feeling anything but excited that the future will be brighter and better than the present. Why? Because we are constantly letting go of the desires that keep us in the same stagnate place we were before. That’s the true power of letting go, I think. It’s all in the work. There’s some people who go through life that never realize that growth is constantly needed. Imagine if you were one of those people, and how life would be then.
So kudos to us my friend for constantly, consciously, creating our own experiences.
In that aspect we are ahead of the game.
Great feedback, thank you very much! Have a most awesome day!
Your post reminds me of the saying; “Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it.” I agree that the past is a very powerful place. It seems like the older I get, the more I find myself stuck in the past. You have offered some very helpful suggestions for getting over the bridge and moving forward in life.
Thank you!
Hi Janette and welcome,
Thanks for stopping in and for your awesome feedback!
When I was doing my research on this topic that saying actually popped up a couple of times. It’s a great saying!
It’s also one that I am adopting to deal with my past as well.
I imagine when they say, “Cry a river” they are in a sense saying, “Ok, go ahead get it all out, deal with it…”, and then get over it. Most of the time I have done just that. Then there were times when I spent extremely too much time “crying a river” and not even beginning on building the bridge part.
I’m with you though, as we get a bit more older and wiser, the more our past presents itself. We can either let it be a stumbling block or building block. I am daily using my own as a building one. It’s all about personal growth.
Glad you enjoyed the post though Janette! Awesomeness!
Enjoy the rest of your day my friend.
Great post, Deeone! I think that it can get way too easy to focus on the negative things that happened to us in our past. However, something that I’ve learned over the years is that if you let these people and experiences haunt you to the point where it paralyzes you in the future, all you are doing is saying that those are the most important things to you. If that’s the case, why not let yourself be in charge of what is important instead of letting the bad things and the mean people win?
Hey there Steve,
Here Here!! Love it! Thank you for your feedback and welcome to the release!
You are absolutely right! There’s definitely a way to go about releasing people that want to keep you from reaching your maximum awesomeness; Hence, the release! 
I really enjoyed reading your feedback my friend. Your comment could most definitely be a quote in the “Releasing Other’s Moments” section of the site, that’s for sure. A couple of years ago, my own past was paralyzing me and I had no idea of how to go about breaking free from it. But then life showed up… and told me “Hey, I need for you to live me!” Here I am! Ready to live the life that was definitely just waiting on me to arrive! I hope my future is ready… because from here, it’s looking Pre-t-ty dang good! 
Thanks for the awesomeness buddy! Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Wonderful advice and inspiring points you make here Deeone. Be positive, stay positive and live positively is my passon. I was once always dwelling on the past, never understanding the power of foregiveness… then I grew up, realized that being positive kept me moving forward. But best of all, it open my world to meeting and enjoying others that surround me each and every day. You are one of those people and I am glad you share and discuss this very important topic. Great article!
Hey Lynn,
Thanks for stopping in! It is always a pleasure to hear from you!
Awesome feedback, I enjoyed reading it!
I enjoy writing about these type of topics. It seems to me the world is forgetting a few of them and becoming a place so unfamiliar than the one that I grew up in. People are becoming more callous to the feelings of others. If it’s not about them and what they have going on they tend to forget or ignore simple “People Skills 101″. One of the hardest things for me in this journey has been to learn how to build that bridge and move on forward past the expectations of people.
One of the most valuable lessons of bridge building I think is coming to the realization that whenever we cross that bridge (like you said) the door and world are opened to meet and enjoy other’s who you grow to appreciate and whom equally appreciate you as well. No one in this world should ever feel like they’re being tolerated. There are simply too many people on this planet to cry and lose sleep over a few who can’t or won’t see an individual’s uniqueness and awesomeness!
You too are one of those individuals that I am ecstatic about the connection.
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I truly wish you a wonderful day Milady.
Ooh! My favorite is your fifth point, Deeone! How refreshing to realize that we can always start over from this very moment in our lives. =) Life is going to have its painful moments no matter what, but that doesn’t mean we have to wallow in them. What’s important is having enough energy and optimism to pick ourselves up each time. It’s also great advice to surround ourselves with positive! =) We can take responsibility for our own lives this way! =)
Thanks for a super uplifting post! =)
Hey there Sam,
Yep, there’s always room to start again. The painful moments are simply moments that we can improve upon. No matter what. Dwelling on them does more harm than good I’m learning. It’s a matter of do we want to let it go. If we do, then we just have to do it. If not, then it will simply remain and we will find ourselves in the same predicament that we always have.
I’m glad that you enjoyed the post.
The choice is always ours to make, right?
Thank you for such a wonderful comment. Enjoy the rest of your evening my friend.
Time does heal, thank goodness. Even so, I still catch my mind sometimes replaying memories of past hurts. When I find myself doing this, I try to think of something else right away (otherwise, I feel like a hamster on a wheel!)
Thank you, Deeone!
{ @danenow }
Hi Dane and Welcome to the Release buddy!
You make an awesome point. The memories will never leave, they’ve been branded in our minds over time. It takes dedication, determination, and constant awareness that we must control those thoughts, and not let those thoughts control us. Great analogy as well!
It’s great to see you here at the Release I hope that you come back for a visit my friend.
All the best to you. 
{ 1 trackback }